


V is for Victory

by Aurora_Novarum



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: 1000-3000 words, Drama, Episode Related, Episode: s07e02 Homecoming, Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-02
Updated: 2008-04-02
Packaged: 2017-10-04 06:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurora_Novarum/pseuds/Aurora_Novarum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Daniel Jackson, once Arrom, felt disconnected from the victory celebration going on around him.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	V is for Victory

**Author's Note:**

> part of Daniel alphabet soup challenge on lj.

Daniel Jackson, once Arrom, felt disconnected from the victory celebration going on around him. The SG teams and Langarans who'd returned with them were still giddy with thwarting Anubis. He did not feel so sanguine.

"Hey Doctor J, we sure showed them, huh?" One of the marines slapped his back on his way to the drink table. He merely nodded and waved and moved further away from the crowd.

Sometimes he still felt more like Arrom than Daniel Jackson. Who was he now, and who did he want to be? The memories were returning--ghosts of the past imprinting on new observations. Some flashes of insight were unconscious: a muscle memory without context. Strange how translating the language of alien computers came to him automatically, but remembering what foods he liked on the commissary line escaped him.

Feeling his current mood was not fit for the celebration, he turned to go, only to be startled to find Teal'c right behind him.

"Teal'c! Nice um-party, right?" he asked with false brightness.

"Yet you do not enjoy it, Daniel Jackson."

"No, I-I..." He felt uncomfortable at this accurate summary of his mood and tried to deflect attention from himself, saying the first thing that came to mind. "I was just...comparing how similar the ritual of celebration is no matter where you go. Food, laughter, music..." He gestured to the boom box playing in the corner.

"You remember other celebrations?" Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"Some, I guess." He shifted uncomfortably. "Um, specifically I was thinking of one on Vis Uban before...well...when I was there. They called it the Freedom Festival. Shamda told his fables to the youngsters, some of them already able to recite the lesson at the end with him. Then Khordib led the others in a play reenacting when their ancestors threw off the shackles of a false god." He blinked in realization. "I guess it was a Goa'uld. I never thought about it before. They celebrated their victory on their homeworld for three days and nights, then harnessed the power of the chaap'pai themselves, exploring the worlds where the gods had touched. Every year they remembered their victory."

Teal'c nodded. "You felt a kinship to these people."

He shrugged. "They were kind to a stranger who didn't know himself. They accepted me as I was."

He grimaced at exposing this much of his inner thoughts. Teal'c appeared not to notice his discomfort, instead looking out over the crowd. They stood together in silence for several moments. Eventually, Teal'c spoke.

"Oftentimes, I have felt the outsider. Tau'ri customs are strange to me. There are so many festivals: for births, for bondings, even for deaths." He said the last with some distaste and then gave a look that was piercing in its intensity.

He realized Teal'c was referring to Daniel's--his death. He was still adjusting to those memories too--jumbled with no full context or chronology. Sometimes he wondered which of his deaths or near-deaths he was remembering. The more he learned about Daniel Jackson's life, the more he realized showing up naked and amnesiac on a distant world was not necessarily unusual. He began feeling uncomfortable under Teal'c's intense gaze.

He looked away. "I'm not sure I can be who you remember. I'm not sure who I am anymore."

"You can only be who you are now. I expect no less."

"Don't you?" Now he was the one to give a piercing look. "Don't you want your old friend back? Not a man fumbling for who he is and what he's doing here?"

"I hope I am still honored with your friendship, but I do not expect it. I trust in who you were, who you are, who you will be."

He scoffed. "You have more faith in me than I do."

Teal'c bowed his head. "I am confident it is not misplaced."

He looked at Teal'c and blinked at the Jaffa's sincerity. He sighed. "Jonas talked about me coming back on SG-1. He offered to give up his place."

Teal'c tilted his head and considered this. "What was your response?"

"At the time, that we should talk about it when we weren't thirty seconds away from being discovered by a host of Jaffa."

Teal'c shared his wry smile. "A wise course of action."

"I thought so," he nodded.

"And now?"

He shrugged. " Jonas has made a place for himself here with you. It's not my place to usurp that."

"Mmm." Teal'c considered this. "Jonas Quinn's goal has always been to help his people. " He nodded towards the Langaran delegation. "He has learned much in his time here. And now they talk of him taking a leadership role amongst a new planetary council."

"Really? That-that's great." He blinked in surprise. "I didn't know. I mean, the Kelownans said they'd pardoned him for all past transgressions, and um...the rest of us." He wasn't sure how Teal'c would react to that news. He wasn't quite sure how to react himself. Diplomatically, he continued, "I figure it's a good step. They're realizing how much more there is out there. That infighting amongst themselves is counterproductive."

Teal'c turned from glowering at the Langarans to stare at him again, but said nothing.

Deciding it was best for both of them to change the subject from the bizarre topic of Daniel Jackson's death, he continued with the idea foremost in his mind. "Even if Jonas decides to go back to Langara, that doesn't mean I should replace him. I'm–I think I'm a liability. I shouldn't even be at this party. I only half-remember things, and what I do remember, I have no idea how to live up to. You're the team that does the impossible."

"Much is said of SG-1. Much is embellished." Teal'c responded blandly.

"Really? Not from what I was reading. I'm still trying to live down being a modern day Lazarus. I think some of them expect me to glow in the dark." He looked down at his hands. "Hasn't happened yet."

"Jonas Quinn informed us that you were the one to crack Anubis's computer codes."

"Well, yeah, but that just...came to me. It was an algorithm of Ancient and Goa'uld and it just..."

Teal'c interrupted. "And after Jonas Quinn's capture, you searched for him."

"Getting lost most of the time," he countered.

Teal'c was unswayed. "You also acted to prevent Anubis from gaining the crystal of naquadria research."

"And almost got myself shot without realizing it. I'm just jumping in without thinking and then I realize maybe I shouldn't be doing this after all."

"Indeed." Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "All impulses and actions I relate to Daniel Jackson, a valued member of SG-1."

"But what if next time I do something that brings down the wrath of these Ascendeds or whatever again? Or make the wrong choice and someone dies or a world is destroyed?" He looked to Teal'c for some kind of answer. "What if I make a mistake?"

"All of us make mistakes, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c's voice was heavy. "We just need to make the best choices we can and try to live with the consequences."

Teal'c gazed out over the crowd and straightened, breaking out of his own dark moment. "In this instance, your choices were sound. You insisted on being part of the briefings for this mission; you volunteered to come along when you could have easily stayed here with no condemnation. Yet you were compelled to be a part. You were an integral part of our victory."

"Not me. Others–-Jack and Sam..."

"As much for you as anyone. The true victory will be when all the Goa'uld are defeated. But for today, the battle is ours, despite being outmanned, and outgunned. This celebration is one of survival." Teal'c turned to him. "I have observed the Tau'ri find minor victories so sweet because they recognize the frailty of it. Lives are short, therefore every moment is savored. I have come to appreciate certain moments–-like companionship amongst friends."

He followed Teal'c's gaze to look out at the celebration. He saw the rest of SG-1 over by the dessert table. He watched Sam shove Jonas in a teasing manner and laugh at some remark. Beside them, Jack was cutting large slices out of the sheet cake. Jack looked up and smiled at him and Teal'c across the room, gesturing to the cake. Jack was inviting him to come celebrate. He looked at the team–his team, his friends. Daniel Jackson realized in that moment that no matter what happened in the future, and no matter his doubts, for the present, he was here. Teal'c was right. He must savor the good moments.

Daniel turned to his friend. "Do you want a piece of cake, Teal'c?"

Teal'c smiled at him. "I would, Daniel Jackson."

Fin


End file.
